AMAZING DISCOVERY
WORLD IN SHOCK
TURMOIL AT UNITED NATIONS

Today, in a dramatic revelation to a packed session of the United Nations, stunned diplomats listened as scientists stated world history is about to be rewritten. They watched in disbelief as a show of incredible pictures from satellites orbiting the South Pole were shown. For once all the members of the United Nations were silent as they watched slide after slide, proving once and for all time that the old theory that the Earth had once been flat was absolutely true.
Dr. McKinsky, the head of NASA, in his address, explained, “Since the prolonged greenhouse effect has been melting the polar ice, the crust has been getting thinner and thinner. Normally this area is always covered in a blanket of cloud, but combined with the loss of ozone and unique weather conditions, it has now been possible to take pictures of the land formation beneath the ice. We had to be sure before we released our findings, but there is no doubt about it. We have engaged on an intensive research program costing billions of dollars but all our findings point to the same thing. Beneath the Antarctic ice there is something absolutely incredible. There is a gigantic knot. Just like a hobo’s handkerchief, at some time in the history of the world, the four corners have been tied together!”

Russian Claim

A heated debate ensued after the Russian Ambassador, Gregor Bullshivitz, claimed that the Soviet Union had known about this for many years. Ever since the great people’s hero, Yuri Gagarin made his first flight in space. He further added that their own scientists were working on a plan to untie this knot, fuelling speculation of an Antarctic power struggle and a return to a cold war.

Big Religious Revival

Meanwhile, throughout the world there has been a big revival of religion. Booksellers are reporting massive sales of the Old Testament. Church leaders are expected to make a proclamation today, but opinion is divided on whether any attempt to untie this knot could be seen as sacrilege. The Flat Earth Society claims vindication in the findings. Galileo has been dropped from Italian history books and Japan has laid claim to whaling rights in the lower right-hand corner.

Tony Abbott says he has been vidicated.