Here’s another joke for you … you could sell the pure water from your state-of-the-art pulp mill to Georgetown. After all, in this world of global warming and predictions of drought, it is a pity to see such an asset wasted on the little fishies of Bass Strait. Or you could bottle it. Imagine a bottling plant at Bell Bay along all the other things you have there!

And surely the argument that RPDC limits should be revised upwards to accommodate the emissions blow-out is a joke too. Of course you will take seriously the CSIRO report that nitrogen oxide emissions from your proposed mill will exceed the RPDC limit of 1.3 kg by .376 kg. And, naturally you are concerned about the scientific evidence that nitrogen oxide is potentially lethal. CSIRO shreds pulp mill plan

The CSIRO’s statement that the stack height of 130 m breaks ‘sound engineering practice’ is meat for another joke. You could suggest that the 2.5-fold ‘rule’ of height of stack above boiler be lowered to 1.5. That would be a really good laugh!

There are other flaws the CSIRO finds in your IIS. They say your Draft acknowledges a possibility of diffuse TRS sources in the proposed on-site odour monitoring program. They find your estimates of emissions from the existing Bell Bay industries to be poor. They express doubt about your model’s ability to predict background concentrations from these industries. But, of course there is the possibility that the CSIRO is also joking.

We peons know you will fix all this up in your next abbreviated draft …  and the next …  and the next. I can just see you all up there in your Board Room having a good old laugh about all of us down here scrambling to read each of your future 7,000-page submissions … much of it paid for by us taxpayers.

Oh, I just saw it! You’ll reveal all on April 1st when you say ‘April Fools!’

But fools we aren’t, John Gay.

Joan Dehle Emberg

GOOD joke, John Gay. Of course you did not mean that one good-tasting glass of water proves effluent from a pulp mill in Chile is harmless. Gay slams mill fears